Something Is Missing

I miss waiting in the cold, until I get in your car. I miss having cold hands and you holding them to warm up and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but wrapped in your arms right now, my forehead touching your neck, my breath catching yours and yours catching mine. I can’t believe how used I got to the feeling of being held by you. I realized what a difference it makes when it’s not you.

– Self Reflection

Sponsored Post Learn from the experts: Create a successful blog with our brand new courseThe WordPress.com Blog

WordPress.com is excited to announce our newest offering: a course just for beginning bloggers where you’ll learn everything you need to know about blogging from the most trusted experts in the industry. We have helped millions of blogs get up and running, we know what works, and we want you to to know everything we know. This course provides all the fundamental skills and inspiration you need to get your blog started, an interactive community forum, and content updated annually.

Uprooted Pages

Uprooted pages are the scars of a book. they leave a small piece of what once belonged there and let us wonder, what caused her being torn out of home? Whose hand did she take that was dragging her behind? We notice them like scars on one’s tender skin. They fade but never leave and remind us, our body heals what weakens us.

well-spoken

I try to be well-spoken. Not because I want to seem more confident to others or earn their respect, but because I simply care about what I say. I rather show respect to those who need it more than myself, to those who are not taken seriously enough but should be. Offending anyone accidentally by choosing the wrong words is not something I don’t want to do and that’s the reason I need to be aware of what I say. We need to be aware of what we say.

I leave

You let me know I disappointed you, but I don’t feel like saying sorry. It might hurt my sincerity to tell something that I don’t mean. Waiting for a reason to leave wasn’t good for me, but now I found one. Since then, you were left with expectations and nobody was there to comply them.

mental vacations

On some days, I need to go on mental vacations and refuse to take someone with me. My mind is the only space I’m being left alone at, and I can get lost there. It occurs to me that I feel grounded at an unknown place, where I‘d leave my whole heart. However, I wonder what the symptoms of my distractions are.

Meeting new people

I once felt comfortable with the idea of me being different than people expect. Now that I’ve experienced what it means, my attitude towards meeting new people changed.

Not speaking openly about my struggles meant, that I sometimes felt overwhelmed when I met people for the first time. Accepting assumptions about me felt way easier than proving them wrong, though it wasn’t. I developed the fear I could break their trust in me when they realised I haven’t put enough trust in them, to tell what makes me vulnerable. It’s hard to show yourself vulnerable if you’re a sensitive person, but by now I’m convinced hiding hurts often as much as lying, even to yourself.

silent mornings

When the morning comes, the sun releases it’s subtle light and I take a glance outside. My bare feet on the cold kitchen tile are keeping me awake. While I still feel a bit numb, I find comfort in sipping my cup of coffee, the first cup of gold. And before the rush I need a minute to be in touch, not with anybody else, but myself. I think, if I could just keep this peace throughout the day, though I know it won’t stay.

Clarity Is Essential

We‘re in a transformative state. It requires to be brave to search for clarity. This time is about understanding your situation, without being distracted by comparison, about becoming the person you want to be, but with patience. The journey you’re facing is not based on a competition or expectations, it is entirely up to you. It’s okay to put yourself first right now, although you’ve been taught differently. When you just follow the path, you‘ll get where you‘re going. Where the past doesn’t determine you, but adds to your life and you realise the potential you hold in the palm of your hands. That’s when you‘ll know what you’re capable of and how to use your strength. Trust the purpose of clarity, it‘ll guide you.

words left unsaid

What if the words left unsaid should’ve been spoken instead, I understood their meaning and what they might could’ve changed. There were moments that needed pure honesty, though I remembered the outspoken truth once felt like bare skin. You could think whatever, because the past lays behind, but those same words still remain in my mind. Being written on paper doesn’t take them away anymore. Now I believe relying on the quiet, sometimes just isn’t enough and next time I won‘t let the fear make my mouth shut.

Deserving

August made me think, while the old hold me back and the new barely brought me further in life. I still thought about what I want from people, although I didn’t know what to expect anymore. My heart already felt swollen by the feeling of uncertainty. But I’m no longer thinking about what I don’t have, instead of considering what I own inside. I now notice a love I carry that is yet to be fulfilled, meant to nurture my soul. Although most certainly I know the perception I have surrounding love, that emerged of the experiences other people have made before me, I know I’m deserving of real love. Everyone is.

smiling when it rains

I feel at peace when the rain falls down. I’m thinking of all the people saving themselves under their roofs, while nature is taking back it’s power. But I go outside, let the rain touch my skin, watching it from my window and taking in this precious, yet simple moment. I feel connected, because I know there are all those unknown people probably doing the same thing. We notice that when life feels draining sometimes, the rain makes us feel alive.

Serenity

When I think about serenity, I vision a flower growing. Nothing prevents her from growing and flourishing more secure over time. She grows roots so deep it’s hard to tear her apart, but when something does there’s still a part hidden in the ground, prepared to bloom again. The flower isn’t made to remain the same.

Daring Poems

Daring poems are worth keeping in mind and being reminded of even on hard days. They are purposefully written to show a deeper meaning behind things and you have to think twice about them before truly understanding the meaning. They make you question things you never questioned before and you can relate to them on a different level. I want to write them.

Our Intentions

We know that our actions speak for us, the way we behave and treat other people. While what we do is clearly visible, our intentions are hidden.

We may aren’t even sure about them ourselves. However, they can help shaping our lives, because everything begins with an intention. Every journey you go trough, purpose you follow and change you experience. And perhaps you don’t realise it at first, yet small choices like how you portray yourself on social media can reflect your intentions. At some point you might find yourself questioning:

  • Why do I post about my relationship with someone on social media?
  • Is it to show other people that I’m a social person?
  • Do I feel pressure and the need to prove something?
  • Or does it simply come from a place of love & comfort in the relationship?

Ask yourself if you feel proud about what you’re doing.

It doesn’t matter how serious the situation or decision is, when it comes to your mental health it’s important enough to care about.

Think about how you set your intentions and what impact they have on your life.

judged by society

I’m tired of society always putting people into categories, just because they share superficial characteristics. They don’t even try to look beyond the borders of what they can see. It basically favours judgement, which can cause Prejudice, Discrimination and Stereotyping. So while we try to increase our self-esteem, we‘re constantly being put down by the idea of getting defined by one of those categories. We start questioning our own uniqueness and that shouldn’t happen.

Freedom in Poetry

There’s no right or wrong way in writing poetry, you just try to put into words what your mind tells you. Through taking pieces of your thoughts and collecting them on paper, you can visualise certain pictures. It kind of works like a puzzle, aside you’re the one deciding how to put the pieces together, deciding how you want to see the image. So we can use the power of our minds to influence our imagination.

Choosing Yourself

Sometimes you might perceive an overwhelming amount of thoughts building up in your head. Your mind is absolute chaos, it seems confusing. That’s when you need some time to reflect, which goes a long way. Because it often comes with having to choose a new space, unapologetically choosing yourself first and going at your own pace.

We need new surroundings to discover ourselves, like searching in the ocean for something you can’t find on land.

It can mean, being distant to certain people in your life and having to deal with their reactions to that. And this fear of what could happen, whether it’s loosing those people or feeling even more lost in life, is holding you back. So you may crave change, but you’re too afraid of it. On days, where you feel like the fear is controlling your mind, you should try to focus on what the experience of taking care for yourself can teach you. Think about what you have to gain and see the strength and bravery in taking this choice.

Remember that growth isn’t meant to be comfortable.

People we look up to

Did you ever thought about the deeper meaning behind admiring someone? Why you’re inspired to become a better person, just because of someone? I’m not only talking about a common role model, it can be anybody in your life.

The point is, the people we look up to, are people that we think deserve to be admired. We know to get in the same position as them, we would have to work as hard on ourselves. When we don’t know how people achieved something, we don’t know which way they had to go, we often underestimate them. Sometimes we’re just seeing what we want to. And I can’t tell you where this mindset comes from, but I realise we can work on how to change it. We’re able to better ourselves, through avoiding to jump to conclusions about people. Because being familiar with one small fraction of a persons life, is not a reason to do so.

Are you an Over-thinker?

Over-thinking;

the art of creating problems that weren’t even there.


Do you know that feeling of thinking about something and not being able to stop?

Let me explain to you how it feels like:

Instantly you know it’s probably not healthy for you mentally, but that doesn’t seem really important at the moment. You think about something all over and over again, in a different way each time. Often you’re confused and don’t recognise the right thing to do. Then you may start asking yourself: Why am I thinking about this?, am I even allowed to have that opinion? If not, what am I supposed to to think instead?, or what is going through other people’s minds right now? You don’t know where to begin and everything seems like too much. That’s when pressure builds up.


In those situations you should try to:

  • Write down your thoughts
  • Talk to a person you can trust
  • “Paint it out”
  • Listen to some good music

That way things get more clear or you might be able to escape all these thoughts. But at least, it should avoid letting the situation become worse.