There comes one point in time, where you just don‘t want to be alone anymore. No matter how much selflove you built up for yourself and tried to be as independent as possible. But nobody forces you to live in this hyperindependent way, besides your own feminist ideals. The imagination of a woman that doesn‘t need anyone apart from herself. So secure in her own personality that nobody can tell her, who she is meant to be. Maybe I am that woman already. But maybe I will lose her, once I fall in love again. Scared to lose myself being in love with another person, I protect my heart. Not letting anyone come near my vulnerable self, is the best way to do that (I‘m telling myself). I crave to love someone, but who would admit that. I forbid myself from admitting this openly for fear of seeming desperate.
Author: Charlotte W.
Hey There,
I‘m Charlotte, a 17 year old student from Germany. This blog is simply meant to inspire and make other people feel more understood.
The Book Shop
I feel alive in the midst of all this knowledge I can’t maintain. All the things the world has to offer are written on these pieces of paper and are yet for me to explore. Literature is infinite. Those words are connected to memories of my past, present and future. I remember a book of mine being the essence of my childhood and the memories connected to it live on as I continue my life.
Here
Once I’m off to see the world
I might find my peace of mind
By thinking of what I left behind
Though
Eventually I’ll realise
Everywhere is actually not
Better than here
Better than where I was
– Self Reflection
What if I’m just escaping from one place to another?
Something Is Missing
I miss waiting in the cold, until I get in your car. I miss having cold hands and you holding them to warm up and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but wrapped in your arms right now, my forehead touching your neck, my breath catching yours and yours catching mine. I can’t believe how used I got to the feeling of being held by you. I realized what a difference it makes when it’s not you.
– Self Reflection
One of the most beautiful things, is looking at someone and realising how loveable that person is.
Uprooted Pages
Uprooted pages are the scars of a book. they leave a small piece of what once belonged there and let us wonder, what caused her being torn out of home? Whose hand did she take that was dragging her behind? We notice them like scars on one’s tender skin. They fade but never leave and remind us, our body heals what weakens us.
well-spoken
I try to be well-spoken. Not because I want to seem more confident to others or earn their respect, but because I simply care about what I say. I rather show respect to those who need it more than myself, to those who are not taken seriously enough but should be. Offending anyone accidentally by choosing the wrong words is not something I don’t want to do and that’s the reason I need to be aware of what I say. We need to be aware of what we say.
I leave
You let me know I disappointed you, but I don’t feel like saying sorry. It might hurt my sincerity to tell something that I don’t mean. Waiting for a reason to leave wasn’t good for me, but now I found one. Since then, you were left with expectations and nobody was there to comply them.
mental vacations
On some days, I need to go on mental vacations and refuse to take someone with me. My mind is the only space I’m being left alone at, and I can get lost there. It occurs to me that I feel grounded at an unknown place, where I‘d leave my whole heart. However, I wonder what the symptoms of my distractions are.
Self Reflection 