I feel alive in the midst of all this knowledge I can’t maintain. All the things the world has to offer are written on these pieces of paper and are yet for me to explore. Literature is infinite. Those words are connected to memories of my past, present and future. I remember a book of mine being the essence of my childhood and the memories connected to it live on as I continue my life.
Category: thoughts
Here
Once I’m off to see the world
I might find my peace of mind
By thinking of what I left behind
Though
Eventually I’ll realise
Everywhere is actually not
Better than here
Better than where I was
– Self Reflection
What if I’m just escaping from one place to another?
Something Is Missing
I miss waiting in the cold, until I get in your car. I miss having cold hands and you holding them to warm up and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but wrapped in your arms right now, my forehead touching your neck, my breath catching yours and yours catching mine. I can’t believe how used I got to the feeling of being held by you. I realized what a difference it makes when it’s not you.
– Self Reflection
One of the most beautiful things, is looking at someone and realising how loveable that person is.
Uprooted Pages
Uprooted pages are the scars of a book. they leave a small piece of what once belonged there and let us wonder, what caused her being torn out of home? Whose hand did she take that was dragging her behind? We notice them like scars on one’s tender skin. They fade but never leave and remind us, our body heals what weakens us.
well-spoken
I try to be well-spoken. Not because I want to seem more confident to others or earn their respect, but because I simply care about what I say. I rather show respect to those who need it more than myself, to those who are not taken seriously enough but should be. Offending anyone accidentally by choosing the wrong words is not something I don’t want to do and that’s the reason I need to be aware of what I say. We need to be aware of what we say.
I leave
You let me know I disappointed you, but I don’t feel like saying sorry. It might hurt my sincerity to tell something that I don’t mean. Waiting for a reason to leave wasn’t good for me, but now I found one. Since then, you were left with expectations and nobody was there to comply them.
Meeting new people
I once felt comfortable with the idea of me being different than people expect. Now that I’ve experienced what it means, my attitude towards meeting new people changed.
Not speaking openly about my struggles meant, that I sometimes felt overwhelmed when I met people for the first time. Accepting assumptions about me felt way easier than proving them wrong, though it wasn’t. I developed the fear I could break their trust in me when they realised I haven’t put enough trust in them, to tell what makes me vulnerable. It’s hard to show yourself vulnerable if you’re a sensitive person, but by now I’m convinced hiding hurts often as much as lying, even to yourself.
silent mornings
When the morning comes, the sun releases it’s subtle light and I take a glance outside. My bare feet on the cold kitchen tile are keeping me awake. While I still feel a bit numb, I find comfort in sipping my cup of coffee, the first cup of gold. And before the rush I need a minute to be in touch, not with anybody else, but myself. I think, if I could just keep this peace throughout the day, though I know it won’t stay.
Self Reflection 