I feel alive in the midst of all this knowledge I can’t maintain. All the things the world has to offer are written on these pieces of paper and are yet for me to explore. Literature is infinite. Those words are connected to memories of my past, present and future. I remember a book of mine being the essence of my childhood and the memories connected to it live on as I continue my life.
Tag: people
What if I’m just escaping from one place to another?
Something Is Missing
I miss waiting in the cold, until I get in your car. I miss having cold hands and you holding them to warm up and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but wrapped in your arms right now, my forehead touching your neck, my breath catching yours and yours catching mine. I can’t believe how used I got to the feeling of being held by you. I realized what a difference it makes when it’s not you.
– Self Reflection
One of the most beautiful things, is looking at someone and realising how loveable that person is.
well-spoken
I try to be well-spoken. Not because I want to seem more confident to others or earn their respect, but because I simply care about what I say. I rather show respect to those who need it more than myself, to those who are not taken seriously enough but should be. Offending anyone accidentally by choosing the wrong words is not something I don’t want to do and that’s the reason I need to be aware of what I say. We need to be aware of what we say.
I leave
You let me know I disappointed you, but I don’t feel like saying sorry. It might hurt my sincerity to tell something that I don’t mean. Waiting for a reason to leave wasn’t good for me, but now I found one. Since then, you were left with expectations and nobody was there to comply them.
Meeting new people
I once felt comfortable with the idea of me being different than people expect. Now that I’ve experienced what it means, my attitude towards meeting new people changed.
Not speaking openly about my struggles meant, that I sometimes felt overwhelmed when I met people for the first time. Accepting assumptions about me felt way easier than proving them wrong, though it wasn’t. I developed the fear I could break their trust in me when they realised I haven’t put enough trust in them, to tell what makes me vulnerable. It’s hard to show yourself vulnerable if you’re a sensitive person, but by now I’m convinced hiding hurts often as much as lying, even to yourself.
Deserving
August made me think, while the old hold me back and the new barely brought me further in life. I still thought about what I want from people, although I didn’t know what to expect anymore. My heart already felt swollen by the feeling of uncertainty. But I’m no longer thinking about what I don’t have, instead of considering what I own inside. I now notice a love I carry that is yet to be fulfilled, meant to nurture my soul. Although most certainly I know the perception I have surrounding love, that emerged of the experiences other people have made before me, I know I’m deserving of real love. Everyone is.
smiling when it rains
I feel at peace when the rain falls down. I’m thinking of all the people saving themselves under their roofs, while nature is taking back it’s power. But I go outside, let the rain touch my skin, watching it from my window and taking in this precious, yet simple moment. I feel connected, because I know there are all those unknown people probably doing the same thing. We notice that when life feels draining sometimes, the rain makes us feel alive.
judged by society
I’m tired of society always putting people into categories, just because they share superficial characteristics. They don’t even try to look beyond the borders of what they can see. It basically favours judgement, which can cause Prejudice, Discrimination and Stereotyping. So while we try to increase our self-esteem, we‘re constantly being put down by the idea of getting defined by one of those categories. We start questioning our own uniqueness and that shouldn’t happen.
Self Reflection 