I feel alive in the midst of all this knowledge I can’t maintain. All the things the world has to offer are written on these pieces of paper and are yet for me to explore. Literature is infinite. Those words are connected to memories of my past, present and future. I remember a book of mine being the essence of my childhood and the memories connected to it live on as I continue my life.
Tag: reality
Here
Once I’m off to see the world
I might find my peace of mind
By thinking of what I left behind
Though
Eventually I’ll realise
Everywhere is actually not
Better than here
Better than where I was
– Self Reflection
What if I’m just escaping from one place to another?
Something Is Missing
I miss waiting in the cold, until I get in your car. I miss having cold hands and you holding them to warm up and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but wrapped in your arms right now, my forehead touching your neck, my breath catching yours and yours catching mine. I can’t believe how used I got to the feeling of being held by you. I realized what a difference it makes when it’s not you.
– Self Reflection
well-spoken
I try to be well-spoken. Not because I want to seem more confident to others or earn their respect, but because I simply care about what I say. I rather show respect to those who need it more than myself, to those who are not taken seriously enough but should be. Offending anyone accidentally by choosing the wrong words is not something I don’t want to do and that’s the reason I need to be aware of what I say. We need to be aware of what we say.
mental vacations
On some days, I need to go on mental vacations and refuse to take someone with me. My mind is the only space I’m being left alone at, and I can get lost there. It occurs to me that I feel grounded at an unknown place, where I‘d leave my whole heart. However, I wonder what the symptoms of my distractions are.
Meeting new people
I once felt comfortable with the idea of me being different than people expect. Now that I’ve experienced what it means, my attitude towards meeting new people changed.
Not speaking openly about my struggles meant, that I sometimes felt overwhelmed when I met people for the first time. Accepting assumptions about me felt way easier than proving them wrong, though it wasn’t. I developed the fear I could break their trust in me when they realised I haven’t put enough trust in them, to tell what makes me vulnerable. It’s hard to show yourself vulnerable if you’re a sensitive person, but by now I’m convinced hiding hurts often as much as lying, even to yourself.
Clarity Is Essential
We‘re in a transformative state. It requires to be brave to search for clarity. This time is about understanding your situation, without being distracted by comparison, about becoming the person you want to be, but with patience. The journey you’re facing is not based on a competition or expectations, it is entirely up to you. It’s okay to put yourself first right now, although you’ve been taught differently. When you just follow the path, you‘ll get where you‘re going. Where the past doesn’t determine you, but adds to your life and you realise the potential you hold in the palm of your hands. That’s when you‘ll know what you’re capable of and how to use your strength. Trust the purpose of clarity, it‘ll guide you.
words left unsaid
What if the words left unsaid should’ve been spoken instead, I understood their meaning and what they might could’ve changed. There were moments that needed pure honesty, though I remembered the outspoken truth once felt like bare skin. You could think whatever, because the past lays behind, but those same words still remain in my mind. Being written on paper doesn’t take them away anymore. Now I believe relying on the quiet, sometimes just isn’t enough and next time I won‘t let the fear make my mouth shut.
Self Reflection 